Week 45 – Expectations

Recently, I can hear people saying: “don’t have high expectations about this or that, from him or her!”  We live in a world where we are more interested in what people think about us than what we think about ourselves. We build our ideology on top of an existing foundation given to us by society. What is right or wrong sometimes seems to be only a point of view, and we all have different views, don’t we?

We build our own expectations! No one else is responsible for what is growing in our minds regarding anything, and we are the only ones to be blamed if things happen in a different way than we expected. I wonder what leads us to build high expectations, especially regarding people. Is this because we want them to respond the same way we do or even better? Or this is the way we escape the reality of facts?! The only thing I know is that we all have expectations and we all need to learn to balance them. Everything that we can control, we can manage in the way we think is best. However, everything that is not under our control, we cannot manage! Therefore, we should not build our expectations on things that we cannot control. We cannot control people’s minds, and surely, we cannot control the natural activities around us. Living having high expectations of these can cause us huge damage emotionally and physically. The best thing is to focus on the things that we can manage and relax regarding things that belong to others. If you get to know more about yourself, you will learn to balance your expectations.

Week 9 – Judgement can be a mirror

Many times we find ourselves in a situation in which our judgement comes first, without giving space for our thoughts to digest the whole situation. We easily point out people’s faults but do not look at our own. This can happen all the time, with everyone around us, and especially with those very close to us. We create high expectations in our minds, and straight away if things do not happen the way we want we start to find people that we can blame for it. I am sorry if it sounds too harsh, but sometimes our judgement of others can reflect our own faults, and can also identify parts of our own lives that need to be observed and worked on. We cannot require of others what we cannot give ourselves; it is as simple as that. Before judging someone, think about yourself; think how you would deal with that situation if you were that person. Before expecting other people to do things, do them yourself. Before opening your mouth to complain, be thankful. I like what Harper Lee says in her book “To Kill a Mockingbird” about understanding others: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it”. So let’s try to be less judgemental, remembering that every time we judge someone we can be judging ourselves.